On a Bad Regifting

I’ve regifted before. You probably have, as well. Sometimes, you either don’t want a gift or you might think someone else could use the gift more than you could. Take the case of Theodosius and his wife, Eudocia, who lived in what is now Istanbul back 1600 years ago. He was a wealthy man and had great influence and power. At that time, the city was known as Constantinople, and it was the capital city of the Eastern (Byzantine) Roman Empire. The city was one of the largest in the world at that time, filled with riches and beautiful architecture as well as amazing churches and religious shrines. According to the story, Theodosius was on his way to church one day when a man approached him with a gift.

“Sir,” the man said to Theodosius, “please accept this apple as a token of my esteem.” Theodosius could hardly believe his eyes. The man held out an extremely large apple, an apple so large that the man had to hold it with both hands so as not to drop it. It was a special apple, the man said, grown in the area of what is now Turkey known as Phrygia. Theodosius took the apple with happiness, and he thanked the man profusely. The man said that it was his honor to present the apple to a man of Theodosius’s reputation and respect.

Rather than continue to church, Theodosius hurried home. He found his wife doing what she usually was doing–reading. Now, this was somewhat unusual for that day, because most women of the period were illiterate. But Eudocia was an intelligent woman from Athens, from a rich family as well, and she had a good education. It was one of the things he loved about his wife. And the pair loved each other dearly after 20 years of marriage. Theodosius called Eudocia away from her book and presented her with the largest apple she had ever seen. He told her the story of how the stranger had given him the apple as he was on his way to worship that morning. Eudocia was thrilled with the gift. The couple embraced, and then they went about their day.

A few days later, Theodosius was at his work, and his best and life-long friend, a man named Paulinus, came to see him. Now, these two friends had known each other since the crib. Their parents had been friends, and the two were raised almost like brothers. Paulinus had been the best man at the wedding of Theodosius and Eudocia, in fact. Both of them loved him like a brother, it seemed. But that day, Paulinus came to show Theodosius something unique: An incredibly large apple.

A dark cloud descended over Theodosius’s face. He roughly pushed Paulinus aside and ran to his wife’s bedroom. He threw open the door and asked her, “What did you do with the apple I gave you? Answer me!” Eudocia, shocked at her husband’s tone and obvious anger stammered. “I…I ate it!” she said. Theodosius burst into tears. He came and knelt at his wife’s knee. “Swear to me,” he said through his tears, “swear to me on our children, swear that you ate the apple.”

Eudocia bit her lip. “Yes,” she said finally. “I swear.”

Suddenly, Theodosius stood up. Everything was clear to him at that moment. His wife was having an affair with his best and longest friend. She gave that friend the apple Theodosius had gifted her, and then she lied with a swear to his face about it. He tears dried up, and he became emotionless. It was Eudocia’s turn to cry when she saw Paulinus standing at the door behind her husband, the apple in question resting in his hands.

You might can guess what happened next. Theodosius had Eudocia sent to Jerusalem, banished from his sight and his household and her own children. Paulinus, well, Paulinus was executed at the order of his best friend, Theodosius.

Because you don’t regift an apple that you have been given by Theodosius II, the Emperor Augustus of the Roman Empire.

On the Emperor’s Gifts

The islands of the Aegean Sea are known for their beauty. The sparkling clear blue waters mirroring the usually clear skies above all beckon the traveler and the tourist. In 766 AD, all that beautiful area of islands and sea and sun was under the control of the Byzantine Empire. And the emperor that ruled in the capital city of Constantinople at that time was named Constantine V.

Now, Constantine V ruled the empire for a little over 30 years. He took advantage of a time in history when the encroaching Muslim forces were in disarray, and he secured and expanded the borders of his kingdom. He is remembered as an able military leader and decent administrator as those things go.

What he’s not remembered for is his generosity.

And that’s interesting considering how he treated several of his high-ranking political appointees and governors. You see, Constantine V personally saw to it that 17 of his underlings were taken care of on an island in the Aegean. There, they had constant care and watching. Their food was provided for them. They didn’t have to worry about clothing or the basic necessities of life.

And, what’s more, all 17 of them were blind.

Yes, the Emperor Constantine made sure that these incapacitated former administrators and advisors were seen to. He even dispatched servants once a year with special gifts from him to the 17 men. It was his way of subtly reminding them who was taking care of them and why they were in the situation they were in in the first place.

Now, you’d think these men would be grateful, right? They have a great place to live, all their needs were met, and they received special attention via the emperor’s gifts once per year. In their conditions, you’d expect them to show how much they appreciated the situation their ruler had afforded them.

Yet, the 17 men deeply resented him. Their hatred for him burned with the heat of 1000 suns. They spat when they heard his name, and they loathed the moment that the servants arrived from Constantine V bearing his yearly gifts.

Why? What had he done to them that would cause them to resent his generosity so?

Well, you see, it was Constantine V who had blinded them in the first place and exiled them there. These 17–and two others who were executed outright–had sought to overthrow the emperor and install a different ruler over the Byzantine Empire. And Constantine had defeated the rebellion.

And the yearly gifts that he sent them?

100 lashes, each.